just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
