If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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