i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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