is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
