I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
