Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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