You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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