were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
