I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
