Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize