he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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