you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
