its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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