Nicole vs. Life
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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