you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
