FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
