Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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