Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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