He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize