My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
