covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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