Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
