My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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