Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
