Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
