SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
