I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
