I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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