We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
