She said her name was "party"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
