We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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