So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize