Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
