so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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