my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
