john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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