We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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