i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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