was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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