I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
