There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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