Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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