dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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