I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
