She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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