Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
