its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize