please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
