why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
