There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
