I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He felt like a one man threesome
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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