Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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