Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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