I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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