you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
