The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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