I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
