You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
