All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
