I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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