He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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